Tired of eating cereal at home? Kellogg's has a solution in their To Go Cup. Here's a full review.
Kellogg is a strange word. We all know it means cereal but why? I like to think it’s named after the excrement of a lady named Kelly. Eating this new bran-filled breakfast produced the log she always dreamed of.
But if you ask me, the name (actually named for Sir Kellogg III, a British knight who would spend hours alone every evening ‘flaking his corn’, as they put it) is not the strangest thing about them.
For my money, it's that they released this To Go Cup. It’s a two-section cereal transport device with milk cooling gel built right in. Think a 2-section thermos that's made for only cereal and is not nearly as good as a thermos.
The idea is to give cereal eaters the ability to eat cereal anywhere. Kellogg's wants to increase cereal consumption and they know that they have to break out of the kitchen to do so. Doing so, therefore, means that they really have to sell you a new lifestyle.
The To Go Cup fits right in your car’s cupholder. Imagine being stuck in traffic on the way to work, bored and hungry because you didn’t have time to eat at home, when you grab the cereal cup your wife gave you on the way out the door.
Never mind that you will spill milk on your pants. (The milk is in the bottom part, so it sloshes around and touches the bottom of the top part, so when you separate them milk drips everywhere.)
Forget how many people in cars around you, also stuck in traffic, will record you as you eat cereal out of a plastic bowl in your car and upload that video to YouTube.
Forget what everyone says. You will know, deep in your heart, that life is good. Cereal was meant to be enjoyed anywhere, anytime and you scoff at the masses who still believe it’s only an at-home food.
“But Angus,” you ask, “how would I eat it in my car without a spoon?”
Good question, ma'am. The To Go Cup’s pièce de résistance is a folding spoon integrated into the lid. (You can see it in the bottom corner of the photo above.)
A folding spoon. Integrated into the lid. Your yogurt wishes it had one of these!
It makes sense when you think about it. You don’t want to be strolling through the business district in your best suit, on your way to a meeting, To Go Cup in one hand and, what, have a loose spoon rolling around in your pocket? Are you nuts? This is Kellogg’s we’re talking about here. They get that you need to maintain that clean business look.
Okay, so you’re not a high-powered suit-wearing executive. No problem. The great thing about the To Go Cup is that it doesn't matter where you work. In bright-plastic-red, it blends in everywhere. Be it in an office or a cell phone kiosk, this cup is perfect to eat your Fruit Loops without leaving your post.
Or get one for your kid in high school. All the other teenagers will be in awe of his bravado and ingenuity. “Is he eating cereal, at school??” they will say.
He is. And soon everyone else will follow. Your kid is a trend-setter, remember?
Look, I’m not going to say that the Kellogg’s To Go Cup is the best invention since breakfast cereal itself, but it’s up there. You need one of these in your life.
How did this magical thing come to be? I can’t be sure. But in my mind, I assume someone from Kellogg’s’s marketing team went to India (or watched a documentary about India or ate Indian food) and saw a tiffen box.
“We need one of these,” he exclaimed in a pitch meeting. “We'll finally break out of the home!”
He probably fought a lot of resistance in those meetings. “But sir,” the head of packaging said, “the world isn’t ready!”
“The world better get ready. We’re taking cereal … everywhere!”
I admire this man who stood up for Raisin Bran portability. Any new technology like this To Go Cup is going to be met with resistance. I’m glad he persevered. He knew cereal-everywhere is the future and that there are – right now – folks like me, on the forefront, ready and willing to take the plunge into the future.
So how do you get one of these cups? Well here’s where it gets sad: you can’t. I was one of the lucky few able to get one of these amazing inventions. Back in 2015 I purchased a box of cereal with an offer: one To Go Cup absolutely free for $3 shipping and handling.
God damn bargain of the century.
Unfortunately, the offer expired on Dec 31st, 2015.
They were also only available in Canada as far as I know. I therefore may be the only person who actually ordered one. If not, it’s possible I’m the only person who kept it and uses it regularly.
That said, I never use mine for cereal unless I'm demonstrating it to someone. I do use it to carry, say, an apple in the top part and yogurt in the gel-cooled bottom part. Or chips and salsa. Or bread and cheese. And when I do use it, it's usually into the woods or on a bike trail where no one will see me.
I’m not that brave.
I like things that are conceptually ridiculous. And this is one of my favourite. I’m giving it four stars. The only reason I’m not giving it five stars is because they didn’t follow through on their vision and make it a cultural phenomenon.
And also the plastic is a little cheap and I’m probably dying a little from chemical infusion every time I use it.
Still, cereal anywhere. It’s one hell of a dream.
Next week I review the Avocado Shark I found in my girlfriend’s kitchen.