Having Trouble (With) 101

Writing without thinking is better when you're drinking. Too bad I wrote this sober because it goes straight to nowhere.

One hundred posts down. Time to write number 101.

Hmm.

I have more time this time around, it’ll be easy, something will come to me. It always does.

Hmm.

Nope, maybe I’ll start reading a bunch of stuff then and see what triggers.

Here’s a great article about the sacrifices it takes to live a “normal” life when your brain is a box of cray fish like mine.

Shit, that was great and something I can relate to pretty hardcore. I’m gonna read it again!

In it, she lists the sacrifices she has to make to live a normal life; I could write my own list! Though it needs some thought first so it won’t be ready for today.

Alright, what’s next.

Here’s one about how to be better at worrying. That’s a great tip, and very similar to what Illuum was made for.

Nice, okay, these are great reads but I still got nothing churning in my head to write. Let me check my cheatsheet. I keep a list of questions I ask myself when trying to come up with a new topic. I keep it in a comment on the Todoist checklist item of Write a blog post every 17 days.

Shit, I never have to dig into this, I’m getting desperate now. I don’t even remember what it says:

– What did I learn this week?
– Who did I teach what this week?
– How was life hard this week and what would I tell someone going through that?
– How was life better this week than a previous life and what did I improve to get there?

Nothing, nothing, and this past week was pretty damn unremarkable.

Well, that wasn’t very helpful.

This second c-note isn’t off to a very great start. Let’s go back to reading.

Here’s a great article comparing personality types to Magic: The Gathering colours. That is awesome. Personality types are always so abstract. It’s great to see them tied to something concrete like a game I’m very familiar with.

You know, I always enjoyed that card game but I also tended to avoid things like that. I never wanted to be labelled “nerdy.” I never wanted to be labelled anything.

There’s something there for sure. I’ve got two ideas right away:

  1. Something something about enjoying what you enjoy and not caring what it says about you. Though I may have already written that about cars.
  2. Embracing labels and the pointless pursuit of perfection. It’s better to be something than wonder your whole life what you should be. Belonging to a community is very important and often requires labels. I haven’t done a great job of that in my life.

Either of those would be great topics, but as I’m already 400 words into this non-post post I’m going to keep going.

Because here’s what really happened:

A couple of years ago, I started writing a post here every week about whatever came to mind and it didn’t matter because it was just a writing exercise. I would write them well in advance and have a queue and lots of ideas and drafts never even made the cut. My queue runeth over.

This year I’ve become rather busy and at the same time I’ve narrowed my focus to a single topic (self-improvement). Now normally, what I’m thinking about doesn’t always match what I want to write about and when I want to write about something I don’t often have the time when the inspiration strikes. That makes me a lot less likely to write.

To make it worse, I reduced the posting frequency to post better things so that raised the bar and the pressure to write things increased. This worked against my desire to write because how could I write something as great as those posts I linked above?

Great is the enemy of the blog, as they say.

So as I sat at my computer this week, pondering all of this and wondering what this post should be, I realized something: thinking too much about it will just make me less happy and if writing is not a source of positivity, what are we all even doing here? So I took my own advice and started writing.

No, #101 is not perfect. Nor is it great. It just is. And that’s okay. Because if you want to get out the great, you first gotta get out the good. And if you wanna get out the good, you first gotta show up.

I may change my approach to this whole blog deal again but, for today, well, I’m just showing up.