Ten days in and I discovered a fatal design flaw in my trip.
See, the idea for the trip was to (finally) get out and couch surf myself. Hosting and attending couch surfing events in St. John’s has had such a positive impact on life, surely getting out into the world and surfing other couches across the country would be grand.
The flaw in this, however, soon became apparent. That is: I hate couch surfing.
It took me four hosts to figure it out, but yeah, I hate it. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed meeting the people I stayed with. It was great to see into their part of whatever city I was in and be introduced to places I would’ve never found on my own. It just wasn’t great to sleep on their couches. Forget for a moment that twice I had cats sleeping on or around me or that I was in a open spaces with no privacy. It’s the being in someone else’s space that I can’t do.
Hating something is a feeling, but if I was to break it down into its most definable parts it would look like this. First, it’s a logistical pain in the membrane to coordinate around someone else’s schedule. Then, when I do get into a host’s place, I can’t get comfortable. I’m always on edge and trying not to offend or impose. And I never think they want me there. Perhaps it’s paranoia, but I always think they think they can’t wait till I leave. This leads me to think that either I suck as a guest or that maybe I have really low self-esteem. Turns out that neither is a comforting thought.
This is all on me, of course. It’s clear that other people wouldn’t have the same problems with it, hence the large number of folks who’ve had wonderful couch surfing trips not unlike the one I had envisioned.
So after those first ten days, I checked into a hotel to regroup. After looking over my options, I made the tough decision to take myself off the road. I (really) didn’t want to, but it didn’t make sense to pay many monies for a trip around lands I’ve already seen.
Once I press this there's no turning back. Unless I wanted to hear 'recalculating' a lot
And so I’m going to head back east, and if all works out I’ll be taking off for another trip before too long.